


cling too tightly

by torigates



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: He wanted to ask what Willie was doing here, at Aaron’s home, but that seemed kinda rude. “I didn’t know you were in town,” he settled on instead.  Willie gave him a look. “You might have, if you ever answered a text.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bloodbright](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodbright/gifts).



> Happy holidays!

Aaron was in a headlock when he learned that Willie was in town. 

 

Vinny had his arms wrapped around Aaron’s neck, his forearm pressing tightly against Aaron’s throat, as Aaron’s own arms flailed in a futile attempt to get himself free. “Ow! Ow, fuck! Don’t poke-- _stop poking me_!” 

 

Vinny ignored him, and continued poking Aaron’s flank. 

 

Thorty’s voice caught Aaron’s attention somehow, through the usual locker room chaos. “--later?” he was asking. “Mitchie’s gonna be there.” 

 

Aaron stopped cold in his tracks, enough to startle Vinny into letting him go. He stood and took a couple steps closer to where Thorty was talking to Yands and D-Mac. 

 

“Willie?” he asked, interrupting their conversation. It was ruder than Aaron tried to be with those guys, but he couldn’t help it. It was Willie. 

 

Thorty gave him a borderline cool look, and Aaron resisted the urge to shrink away from him. It was true Aaron had spent less time with the self proclaimed “old guys” than he had in his previous two seasons. It wasn’t purposeful… exactly. It was just different now that Willie wasn’t around. Aaron felt like he didn’t really fit in with them any more, that he had lost that connection that Willie brought, making things easier. 

 

It was just--different. 

 

The team had brought Yands in to be his d-partner and that wasn’t working out. It was Aaron’s fault. He wasn’t doing enough to make it work, or bring the team together, or anything really. 

 

“Yeah,” Thorty said, after the silence had dragged on just a moment too long. “We’re having dinner.” _You’re not invited_ was unsaid but implied. 

 

Aaron nodded for lack of anything better to do. Thorty stared at him until Aaron turned about face, making his way back to his stall. 

 

This year had been… different. Harder. Aaron kept looking for other ways to describe it, but ultimately he always came back to things were just different.

It wasn’t just that Willie was gone, although certainly that was a big part of it. He lived on his own last year, and he should be used to it by now, but every time he came back to his condo he just kept thinking it felt wrong. Willie wasn’t the only one who was gone, there was also Guddy and Soupy. The whole D-corps basically felt brand new and Aaron liked Yands and Daddy, but every time he tried to settle, he couldn’t help wondering if those other guys would still be around if the team had just done better last year.

If Aaron had done better.

This year was harder than the two that had come before it. The goals weren’t coming, the _wins_ weren’t coming, and try as hard as he could, Aaron couldn’t seem to make things come together. 

 

Aaron had basically cried all over Soupy when they played the Blackhawks, which was humiliating to say the least, and didn’t fix anything. _Keep working_ , Soupy said. _It’ll get easier._

 

Then Gerard was fired. Aaron flipped out and texted Willie a bunch of times, and they’d talked, and Aaron humiliated himself even more. After that he pretty much couldn’t even look at his phone, every time he did there was a new text from Willie he couldn’t bring himself to reply to. This was supposed to have been their team, and Aaron was doing his best but nothing felt _right_

Willie was at practice the next day. It was closed to the press, but that didn’t mean no one would figure out that Willie was there. He didn’t put on his skates, just sat on the bench shouting at the guys as they did their drills, and chirping on Jags. He’d offered Aaron a smile and a hug in the dressing room, but then directed his attention elsewhere.

It was fine. Aaron was used to being without Willie around now.

 

Aaron didn’t know how to think or act or feel, so he just ignored it and pretended Willie wasn’t there. After skate they had video review, and Willie sat at the back and listened while Rowe went over tape and it was so close to being like last year, except D-Mac was sitting where Willie used to, and Aaron had an A now. 

 

He booked it once they were done, saying a quick goodbye to Vinny and Bjugsy and a couple other guys. He drove home on autopilot, and made himself a post-practice meal when he got home. Cooking made him think about living with Willie and everything he’d learned. He groaned in frustration, but finished his chicken and shoved it down his throat trying not to think about anything. 

 

After food was mindless lying on the couch watching whatever happened to be on TV. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute and really what he needed when he got like this was to go for a run or lift some weights or _something_ , but doing that after a full practice with a game the next day was beyond stupid. Aaron might be dumb, but he wasn’t about to do something that could hurt the team and get the coaches yelling at him. 

 

He shifted on the couch, restless and uncomfortable. He played a couple rounds of a mindless puzzle game on his phone hoping it would quiet the noise in his brain. 

 

That worked for a while, Aaron got into a groove until the doorbell rang. 

 

Aaron sighed, stretching his back as he stood. His legs were pleasantly sore, muscles and body sore and tired even if his mind wouldn’t let him rest. 

 

“Hey, rookie,” Willie said when Aaron opened the door. 

 

Aaron stared at him for a long moment, his mouth hanging open. 

 

“You gonna invite me in, or what?” Willie asked. 

 

Aaron stepped aside. “Yeah, of course, of course, come on in.” Willie kicked his sandals off, and Aaron turned and led them into the living room. 

 

He wanted to ask what Willie was doing here, at Aaron’s home, but that seemed kinda rude. “I didn’t know you were in town,” he settled on instead. 

 

Willie gave him a look. “You might have, if you ever answered a text.” 

 

Aaron ducked his head, the reproach hitting its mark. He hadn’t meant to ignore Willie, not really. It had just been weird with him all the way on the other side of the continent instead of across town or down the hall like he used to be. It just felt like… Aaron had to get used to Willie not being around and he wasn’t going to do that if he was texting Willie with every little thing. Every time he thought about texting or calling Willie since Gerard’s firing he just froze. 

 

He may have overcompensated in his attempt to be independent. 

 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry about that.” 

 

Willie sat down on the couch, arms spread out over the back, looking every bit like he belonged there. In Aaron’s home. “Are you?” he asked. “Cause I haven’t exactly been feeling the love here, rookie.” 

 

“Not a rookie.” The words rolled off Aaron’s tongue before he had a chance to think better of it. It was a well worn argument between the two of them by now, Aaron’s insistence that he wasn’t a rookie anymore, and Willie’s assertion that between the two of them he would always be one. 

 

“Aaron,” Willie said. “What’s going on with you?” 

 

A simple question, but a loaded one. Things had been off since his injury at the World Cup, or maybe even before then. Maybe it was ever since Willie went on IR at the end of last season and it became obvious that he wasn’t going to be coming back. Then there was the playoffs, and the failure of not getting it done, a summer training for World Cup, only for that to be cut short too. The season had started badly, Aaron couldn’t score a goal, and Gallant was fired. It was just a lot of pressure all the time. 

 

Willie put his hand on the back of Aaron’s neck. “Come on,” he said. “Talk to me, kid.” 

 

Aaron didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to think about or name the swirling mess of _crap_ inside him all the time. He shook his head, and leaned in slowly. 

 

Willie didn’t stop him, didn’t push him away, as Aaron pressed their mouths together. This was familiar, at least, They’d started up in Aaron’s rookie year, just a way to wind Aaron down. He was so hype all the time, unable to turn his brain off long enough to sleep sometimes, even as his first professional season took its toll on him physically. 

 

Willie knew how to get Aaron out of his head, how to get him to stop thinking and _relax_. Sometimes Aaron felt like he was the only one who did. 

 

Willie’s hand on the back of his neck slid around, cupping Aaron’s jaw and tilting his head up for a kiss. It was slow at first, almost like Willie was going to pull back. If they stopped Willie would want to talk some more, and that was the last thing that Aaron wanted. He surged forward, kissing Willie with more intensity, their teeth clacking together. 

 

“Alright, kid,” Willie said, their mouths millimeters apart. “I got you, I got you.” 

 

His other hand came up to cup Aaron’s face. The kiss wasn’t gentle, Willie’s mouth opening up against Aaron’s, his tongue slipping between between Aaron’s lips. Aaron sucked on it greedily, like he was starving for it, and maybe it was. It felt like forever since they got to do this, felt like forever since Aaron could just let someone else be in charge and not have to worry about the consequences. 

 

Willie pushed him down against the armrest of the couch, legs spread so Willie could rest his weight between them. Aaron wrapped his arms around Willie’s shoulders, clinging tight. They kissed for long enough that Aaron could lose himself in it, and just enjoy the sensation of Willie’s beard against his skin, his body pressing Aaron down into the couch, his arms on either side of Aaron’s body propping himself up. He felt contained and totally present in the moment, like his mind wasn’t going every which way at once. He was just in this once place, right now. With Willie. 

 

Willie’s hips rocked down against Aaron’s bringing their cocks together. His arousal was a low hum in the back of his mind, a fire Willie was quietly stroking to life with his hands, lips, and body. 

 

By the time Aaron was hard and aching his his pants, letting out little gasping _ah, ahs_ every time Willie rocked his hips down they’d been kissing for ages. Wille’s hand reached between their bodies, slipping under the elastic of his sweats and into his underwear. He took Aaron in a firm grip, stroking him from root to tip. 

 

Aaron’s head fell back, and Willie kissed along his neck, sucking at his jugular. “Come on now, Ek,” he said, twisting his palm over the head of Aaron’s cock, smearing precome and sweat everywhere. 

 

Aaron’s hips rolled up, searching for more friction, more heat. “Willie,” he gasped. “Willie, please… I need…” His head thrashed back and forth, as he tried to tip over the edge. 

 

“I got you, kid, I got you, Ekker, come on.” Willie tilted Aaron’s head down for another kiss, biting down on his lower lip before licking into his mouth. His grip tightened around Aaron’s dick, and it only took a few more quick strokes before Aaron was coming, jizz coating Willie’s hand and the inside of his underwear. 

 

Willie kissed him through it, gentling him down. When Aaron could breathe again, he pushed on Willie’s chest until he was upright. 

 

“Wanna blow you,” Aaron said, and sunk to his knees on the floor, making space for himself between Willie’s spread legs. 

 

It was easy to take Willie out of his pants, already hard and flushed a deep red. Aaron didn’t wait, ducking his head down and swallowing around Willie as deep as he could. Willie’s hand was sure and steady at the back of Aaron’s neck, not setting the pace but holding Aaron. 

 

Willie’s breath was coming faster now, harsh little grunts as he rolled his hips up. Aaron took everything Willie gave him and strained for more, swallowing salty precome. “Fuck, Eks, yeah,” Willie grunted. “You look so good, baby, missed this.” 

 

Aaron closed his eyes, letting Willie’s praise wash over him. It was too much too look at Willie’s face and listen to the things he was saying, so familiar and achingly good to hear, and to know that this was temporary. Willie would go home and Aaron would go back to the rest of the season. 

 

Willie’s thumbs brushed the corner of Aaron’s eyes, wiping away moisture there. “Hey, where’d you go?” he asked. 

 

Aaron shook his head as best he good, and concentrated, chasing that feeling of being present, being in the moment once more. He pulled off. “I’m here.” 

 

Willie pressed his fingers to the hinge of Aaron’s jaw, rubbing soft circles. “You with me?” Willie asked. 

 

Aaron nodded. “Yeah, Mitchie, I’m with you.” 

 

Willie’s thumb swept across Aaron’s chin, tilting his head back. He held his cock in his other hand, the head resting on Aaron’s lower lip, as he jerked himself off fast. 

 

Aaron’s tongue came out, licking the head and tasting the bitter-salty taste sweat and precome. Willie’s breath was coming harsh and fast now, and before long he was grunting out, “Gonna come,” hot streaks of jizz hitting Aaron’s lips, tongue and cheeks. 

 

Willie stoked himself a few more times, the last droplets of come hitting Aaron’s mouth and he swallowed them greedily. Willie pulled him up into his lap and kissed the mess off Aaron’s face. He felt loved, cherished, and cared for. He tucked his head into the crook of Willie’s neck so he wouldn’t have to look and see what was on Willie’s face. Couldn’t bear to see him disappointed or worse. 

 

“Come on,” Willie said. “Let’s get you to bed.” He put his arm around Aaron’s waist and pulled them both to their feet. 

 

“You don’t have to treat me like a kid,” Aaron said. 

 

Willie looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe don’t act like one then, yeah?” Aaron flushed with shame and embarrassment, and Willie put his hand on the back of Aaron’s neck. When he spoke next his words were coloured with warmth and affection. “Donkey.” 

 

They made their way to Aaron’s bedroom. Willie had slept here before, sometimes last year. A couple times over the summer when Aaron came down to meet with the team. It still felt strange, like they should be back at Willie’s house. 

 

Aaron brushed his teeth and washed the last of the jizz out of his beard before putting on a clean pair of briefs and climbing into bed. Willie puttered around the bathroom for a few moments before joining him, climbing into the bed behind Aaron and tucking himself snug along Aaron’s back. One of his arms curled around Aaron’s waist the two of them nestled close together. 

 

He nuzzled the back of Aaron’s neck, his beard tickling Aaron’s nape. “What’s going on, Ek? Talk to me.” 

 

Aaron sucked in a deep breath, dismayed when it let itself out closer to a sob. 

 

“Everything,” he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. 

 

“Can you be a little bit more specific?” Willie asked. His voice was sure and steady, the hand on Aaron’s stomach rubbing slow circles. 

 

“Everything, just everything.” Aaron sucked in another breath, and let it out as slow as he could. It was still shaky. “You’re gone. Soupy, Guddy.” He tried to pull away, he needed to be moving while they had this conversation, but Willie’s arm didn’t budge, and Aaron was trapped. “I’m not clicking with the new guys, they brought Yands in and nothing is working there. I’m letting the team down and they fired Gerard, and it’s basically my fault. Everyone is relying on me and I can’t do it, I can’t, Willie, I’m just fucking everything up.” 

 

He was startled to realise he was breathing hard. Behind him, Willie was completely silent, and Aaron half expected him to get up and leave. 

 

Instead, Willie pressed on Aaron’s shoulder gently until he was forced to roll onto his back. “Kid,” he said. “Have you told anyone you’re feeling like this?” 

 

Aaron shook his head. 

 

A small furrow formed between Willie’s eyebrows. “You can’t keep that shit inside, it’ll eat at you.” 

 

Aaron scoffed. 

 

“Yeah,” Willie agreed with a small grin. “It clearly is. You gotta talk about this stuff. Remember how we talked all the time last year? Remember how I was on you all the time your rookie year to tell me how the pressure was? That’s cause it builds up all the time. All the time.” 

 

“So…” Aaron said. “It doesn’t get better?” His voice was small. He hated that. 

 

Willie shrugged. “I dunno, maybe a little. Or maybe you get better handling it. There’s always going to be some kinda pressure. Coaches leaving, players being traded. Retiring. I _told_ you that, remember?” 

 

Aaron had texted Willie in a panic after the game in Raleigh, and Willie called him, talked him down. At the time he’d felt so… weak, needing Willie like that when he should be able to handle these things on his own. 

 

“Yeah,” he said nodding. 

 

“But you didn’t listen, did you?” Willie asked. “You never listen.” 

 

“Hey!” Aaron protested. 

 

“Not about this stuff. You think you gotta go it alone, like you’re some kinda Superman, or that it makes you weak to lean on other people. You’re not and it doesn’t.”

 

Aaron took a second to think about what Willie said. They did talk a lot the last two years. Not only about Aaron’s feelings and shit, but Willie’s too. And Willie was always talking to Thorty and Lu and the other guys, and maybe Aaron had really been a huge idiot about all of this. It was just… hard. Different now that Willie was gone. 

 

“Okay,” he said slowly. 

 

“Yeah?” Willie asked. He ducked his head down so he could make eye contact.

 

Aaron tried to smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Is it okay that I still really fucking miss you?”

 

Willie looked like Aaron just knocked all the air out of him. 

 

“Of course. Of _course_.” He pulled Aaron in and wrapped his arms around Aaron’s shoulders. Aaron tucked his face into Willie’s neck. “You’re such a donkey,” Willie said. “And I miss you too, rookie. Like all the time. That doesn’t mean that you’re not gonna fit in with the team, or that you can’t get to know the new guys, yeah? It’s the nature of the business.” 

 

Aaron nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.” 

 

“Okay,” Willie said. “And answer your fucking texts.” 

 

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I will. Promise.” 

 

“Okay,” Wille said, and arranged the two of them so they were cuddled together. “Now go to sleep.”

-

His alarm went off earlier than Aaron would like, but it was game day and he hand to get up. He rolled over, searching for his phone on the bedside table, but was stopped by a heavy arm around his waist.

 

Willie pulled Aaron against his body, hugging him close. “You gonna turn that off?” he asked, voice husky. 

 

Aaron groaned and pulled away. Willie let him go this time, and the tinkling music of his alarm stopped, leaving them in silence. Aaron flopped back down on the bed. 

 

“Morning,” Willie said. 

 

“Morning.” 

 

“How you feeling this morning?” he asked. 

 

Aaron took a moment to think things through before answering. Everything he was feeling yesterday, the pressure to perform, do support the team and be a leader, that was still there. But Willie was still here too, and maybe he was right, maybe Aaron didn’t have to go it alone, shoulder all that weight by himself. 

 

“I feel… better,” he said. 

 

“Better?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

Willie rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Aaron. His free hand brushed Aaron’s hair out of his eyes, thumb sweeping over the fading bruise on his cheek from the Ottawa game. “That’s it?” he asked. 

 

Aaron shrugged. “I dunno, Willie. I still miss you all the time, you know? Everything is a lot, but… I know I’m not alone. I know I have Yands, and D-Mac, Vinny, and Bjugsy, and everyone, I guess.” 

 

“Yeah,” Willie said. “You do, kid. You’re not alone out there, ever, okay? You’re part of a team, so start acting like it.” 

 

“Aye, aye, Captain.” 

 

Willie rolled his eyes and rolled out of bed. “Come on, I’ll make you breakfast before you have to go to the rink?” 

 

“And burn my kitchen down?” Aaron asked. “No thanks. I’ll make _you_ breakfast.”

 

Willie chuckled but didn’t dispute Aaron’s assessment. “Sounds good, kid. And listen,” he paused, waiting for Aaron to finish pulling on a clean shirt. “You got your team, right? But you also have me. I’m on your team no matter what.” 

 

Aaron looked at him for a long moment, blinking fast. “Yeah, okay,” he said, looking down. “Yeah, I got you, Willie.” 

 

Willie pulled him in, arms wrapped tight around Aaron’s neck. Aaron clung back desperate, and maybe a little bit sniffly. Finally, they pulled back and Willie gave him a swat on the ass. “Come on,” he said. “I want bacon with my eggs.” 

 

Aaron laughed, and it didn’t come out watery at all. “Oh you do, do you?” 

 

“Hey,” Willie said. “No more meal plan.” 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, but nodded. Maybe he could cheat this morning. It would be okay.


End file.
